#Meet Bmartins...

Meet Blossom Martins, Writer, blogger, On Air personality (the Nigerian presenter), and a woman with the spirit of God networking in her(Godslife) winks...
   Visit here every Friday  for her life changing posts on love, life and relationship
Girls only oo but guys your welcomed some times hehe

How to Tell if He Really Loves You

You've been wondering lately about how much your guy friend cares about you. It can be hard to figure out if he loves you, especially if he's never said "I love you." However, you can look for a few signs that will show you whether he really loves you or not.

1 Notice how he treats you. If your boyfriend loves you, he will treat you with respect. That means that he listens to you and cares about what's going on in your life. He notices the little things that you like and goes out of his way to give them to you. He values you as a person, and he genuinely listens to your opinions. Doing these things shows he honestly cares about you.

2 See how much you question his feelings. If a guy really loves you, it's doubtful you'll need to question it. That is, he's going to make you feel his love in one way or another, by showing you how he feels and saying it to you.[2]On the other hand, you have to make sure that maybe you're not letting your insecurities overrule the emotions of someone who obviously loves you. In other words, you may not feel like he loves you, but it could be just your anxieties talking. If past partners have said you get clingy sometimes, it may be a sign you're insecure. You may also notice yourself trying to be extra nice to win his love or trying to meet his needs all the time without thinking about your own.[3]One way to combat this type of insecurity is to pay attention to what you're feeling instead of always focusing on others; take the time to identify each emotion. As you identify emotions, notice how it guides your behavior. If you're feeling upset and you start worrying that your boyfriend doesn't love you, you may find yourself trying to please him more. Often, these anxieties are unfounded, especially if he's finding ways to show his love all the time.
Also, it's important to identify the source of your insecurity. Maybe you've internalized the critical voice of one of your parents, or maybe you've had rotten luck in past relationships with guys who have mistreated you. Don't just let your inner critic run wild. Instead, talk back to it. When you catch yourself doubting the other person or yourself, try to turn it around. For instance, if you find yourself saying "He didn't call me back, so he probably doesn't love me anymore," try to stop the thought. Say, "No, that's not right. He tells me he loves me everyday. He probably just got busy

3 Check to see how much time he spends with you. A guy who loves you is going to want to spend time with you. If he makes time for you on a regular basis and goes out of his way to see you, he's likely in love with you.[6]Watch to see if he blows you off. If your guy doesn't really care, he's more likely to blow you off. That means he won't make time for you as often as you'd like, and when he does, he may cancel at the last minute. If he's not consistently making time for you, then he probably doesn't love you.[7]Of course, sometimes, a guy is going to have a legitimate reason to cancel on you. However, he should try to give you as much advance notice as possible. He should also be interested in rescheduling. If he's not, he may not be that into you.

4 See if he's willing to do part of the work. That is, he should be willing to come up with plans and dates, not just you. You shouldn't have to schedule everything yourself. If he's willing to take the lead at least part of the time, he probably cares for you.[8]One way to make sure he's willing is to don't plan everything. Give your guy a chance to plan dates for you. He should be willing to take the initiative if he cares about you.

5 Make sure he's willing to compromise. Being in a relationship means making sacrifices sometimes by compromising with another person. That means, sometimes he gives a little more, and sometimes you give a little more. For instance, it may mean he's willing to go see a movie that he knows he's not going to like, while you're willing to go to the sport's bar sometimes, even if it's not your thing. If he's willing to participate in some give and take, then he's probably starting to fall in love with you

To be continued...

10 Signs You’re In The Right Relationship

 
According to Familyshare, Crisis can come upon couples unexpectedly and rattle even the most solid of relationships. No matter how smitten you are with your honey, doubt may creep into your mind, clouding your vision of a perfect match. So how do you really know if this relationship is right for you? Here are a few ways to find out:

1. Moral support
When your friends and family want to see you and your partner together, there is something to savor. Sometimes outside perspective is needed to see things you are too close and emotionally invested in to appreciate or view clearly. Don’t base the value of your relationship on the opinion of others, but listen to the voices you love and respect.
2. Fair fights
When a fight does break out, it’s a clean one. Your arguments work toward resolving issues and solving problems while still appreciating each other’s feelings and needs.
3. New issues
Your issues are new issues. Past problems actually get worked out and don’t come back up to bite you. Old resentments don’t get brought up in new arguments, and old dirt doesn’t get thrown around in current conversations.
4. Hard work
You’re both willing to put in the work. You jump into action without skipping a beat, and you work on an issue until it’s over. No hesitations.
5. Growing together
You and your partner are evolving together emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Growing closer is easy and a natural course of your relationship.
6. Major change
You are both naturally changing for the better because you are happier being who you are this new way. Not because he asked you to change, and certainly not to keep him. Maybe you never wanted children, and now you can’t wait to be a parent with your partner. Or maybe he always needed his space, and now being away from you feels incomplete.
7. Life partners
You don’t see yourself or your life without him. And you know he feels the same way.
8. The L-word
“Love” rolls off the tongue effortlessly. You can’t imagine not saying it; that would hurt too much. You need to say it, you want to say it and it brings you joy. And it’s the same for him.
9. Spiritual connection
There’s just something cosmic that pulls you two back together when you drift apart. It’s unexplainable. But it’s there. And it’s always for the better for both of you.
10. Love is blind
You don’t see anyone else as a potential partner, and you’re not interested in building any kind of connection with another. No one comes close to the amazing person you have. Physical attraction may pop in and surprise you, but the desire for intimacy or emotional connection doesn’t develop.
Knowing when you are right where you should be can be difficult in the midst of it. Hindsight may be 20/20, and if you’re the type that doesn’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, keep your eyes open and see what blessings you have in your love. Let this list encourage you to keep going and keep the faith when the road gets rough and blue skies go gray. You can build a beautiful home for yourself and your family when you appreciate everything and everyone in it.

10 Ways Men Push Women Away — Without Even Realizing It

There are, for some reason, mistakes that many men (probably myself included hehe ) are making when it comes to being in a relationship. In this article, I will discuss these mistakes to help all men become more aware of where they can improve, and work to become better.

1 He never learned about relationships 

This has always surprised me. People (men and women) spend years of their life learning about business, history, science, and whatever subject comes our way. But when it comes to the one thing every single one of us shares — relationships — many are generally clueless.
Time is not taken to observe, talk to, or learn about the opposite s*x. The more effort you put into learning about women, particularly the one in your life, the more likely you are to be in tune with her feelings, emotions, likes and dislikes.
This will, of course, lead to a smoother, happier relationship because you can anticipate her wants and needs in order to act on them. You don’t need to be a mind reader; you just need to put in a little effort.
2. He spends too much time trying to sell himself.
You spend far too much time talking about yourself and not enough time learning about her. Dating is not supposed to be a sales pitch where you try to convince the person on the other end of the table that you’re their best option.
It’s about mutual learning and figuring out whether or not you are both a match for each other. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason, so listen twice as much as you speak.
3. He doesn’t make her a priority.
I’ve had more than one conversation recently that focused on men who were either so submerged in their career, business, friends, or other interests that they barely made time to spend with their own girlfriend. As an entrepreneur, I understand the importance of focusing on business and progress, but I also understand the beauty and depth a relationship can bring to your life, and the importance of playing your equal role in it.
The woman in your life wants to feel valued. She wants to feel adored. She wants you to be emotionally present when you are with her. She doesn’t need to have you around constantly, but she wants to feel loved, just like you do.
If you stop putting in effort to make the woman in your life feel special every day, you lose your right to complain when someone else does.
4. He didn’t work to build a foundation.
A foundation of friendship and trust is essential to every relationship, much like building a foundation is essential to building a house. Without it, things may look solid from the outside, but will be crumbling from the inside.
Many men shy away from friendship with women because they’re scared of being in the “friend zone” and never having more than that with a woman they have feelings for. But it’s important to realize that many relationships are built off of friendships.
That is what keeps two people together long-term. She needs to know she can count on you, that you will be there, and that you are the real deal.
You can have a friendship without a relationship, but you can’t have a relationship without a friendship.
5. He is inconsistent.
Another common question I get from women about men is: Why are men so hot and cold? Men can be talking about commitment and a relationship one day, and then completely disappear the next. What gives?
I understand that, as men in the social media era, we have options. We can easily X out a conversation and start a new one while easily forgetting about the last one.
It’s an unfortunate side effect of the “out of sight, out of mind” mentality that comes along with constant information overload. But one thing hasn’t changed: The fact that you are talking to real human beings with real feelings and emotions.
If you are interested in her, tell her. If you are not interested in her, tell her. A gentleman will never allow a woman to fall if he does not intend on catching her.
6. He focuses too much on her looks.
This one is pretty interesting because it may be counter-intuitive to a lot of men reading this. But that is only because most guys try to get a woman’s attention by complimenting her beauty, and put no effort into learning about her character.
Early on in my relationship I found myself not complimenting my girlfriend on her looks very often. I wanted to tell her that she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen; I wanted to tell her that she looks just as beautiful in sweatpants as she does in a dress
I wanted to dig up every adjective I could think of that could be used to describe someone’s appearance — but, I didn’t. Why? Because I didn’t want her to think that’s why I wanted to be with her.
Yes, she is beautiful and sexy, but she is so much more than that. I actually told her once that I didn’t want her to think I only wanted her for her looks. She told me that if I’d spent too much time complimenting her beauty, that’s exactly what she would’ve thought.

The woman in your life will have much more appreciation for you taking the time to notice her character, compassion, thoughtfulness, and kindheartedness — far more than you telling her how great her b*tt looks in those jeans. Even if it does.

7. He gives too much, too soon.
Yes, men can be clingy, too. When we find a woman who really catches our attention, sometimes the excitement can be a little overwhelming and we may come on stronger than we intend to. This, particularly for a more independent type of woman, is kryptonite and pushes her away immediately.

Take a step back, take a deep breath, tell her what a great time you had on your date, and do your best to fight the urge to text her every 5 minutes. Don’t be worried about coming across as uninterested; you will actually likely be helping yourself rather than hurting yourself.
8. He hasn’t yet defined himself or his own path.

I know that this was a big hang-up for me for a long time. I wasn’t really sure who I was as a person, who I wanted to be, or who I wanted to become. For that reason (and others) I knew I wasn’t going to be ready for a relationship until I had at least a better grip on those questions.
In order to be happy with someone else, you first need to be happy with yourself. That is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. If that one isn’t healthy, none of your others will be either.

The idea of “you complete me” is romantic, but it’s not realistic. A relationship is not about two people who complete each other; it’s about two people who are already whole and accept each other completely.
9. He puts in part-time effort.

Healthy relationships aren’t a part-time commitment. The woman you are with is not just another option or a way to pass your time, and she shouldn’t be made to feel like she is.
When you are with her, be with her. When you are not with her, let her know you’re thinking about her. A relationship is a team, and teams fall apart when one of the members doesn’t pull their own weight.

She needs to know that you will be there for her during good times and during bad times. If you always seem to be just sort-of-kind-of committed, she will eventually realize she’s better off being single, or will find someone who gives her what she needs.

10. He’s clueless about how she’s feeling.
You also need to make sure you learn about her on a deeper level, especially about the one woman you’ve committed your time and effort to. If you don’t put in the effort to become in-tune with how she’s feeling or what she’s communicating to you non-verbally, you will never be able to form the type of deep, emotional connection that a healthy relationship should possess.

She doesn’t want or need you to be a psychic. But if you truly put in the time and effort to communicate with her, listen to her, and pay attention to the things she’s saying to you when she’s not actually speaking, you will gain a greater understanding of the woman you love and ultimately be able to bring more happiness to you as individuals, and to your relationship.
Relationships shouldn’t be as complicated as they seem to be for our generation. They don’t need rules or checklists; what they do need is two people who are willing to learn, understand, and communicate; two people who will stand by each other when things are good, and when things are bad.

Two people who are willing to work together as a team. Because, in the end, the team wins the game.